Bitter old lady

don't read. not uplifting.

me. I am the bitter old lady. I feel like we have been banished to Texas. I know that I shouldn't be bitter. I have the perfect family. I have a wonderful husband, 4 beautiful, healthy children. And Daniel has a job and we have a new house. Life sounds perfect.

I also know that if I don't change my attitude that I will never learn whatever it is I am supposed to be learning while being banished to Houston and living with this heat, humidity, and worst of all, endless big bugs.

But the worst part of it all, the reason I am bitter about it, is because my family is so far away. It costs too much money to visit each other and when we do, it is like once a year, or less. So, why do some families get to live right by each other and some don't. Maybe some don't even care, but my bestest friends include my sister, my mom, my brothers, and my dad.

I know that in the grand scheme of things it won't matter because we are all sealed and will be together forever. But why can't I endure life while living next to my sister? my mom?

When I cry to Daniel about these things he gives me nice logical explanations. Yah, yah, yah. I know these things, but I cry about it anyways.

I think I am just going to be stuck like this forever for all my murmuring. How do you get to the point where you are just happy about everything and never complain about life? I am obviously far from, especially since my life is pretty near perfect. I just want to see my family more often, that's all...

I am trying to visit my sister when she has her baby. Daniel said I could fly there for a quick weekend trip. Not long enough. I wish I could take all the kids and stay for 2 weeks. It has been 2 years since we have seen some of our family there. I am going to start praying for it to rain money or free airline tickets. Tomorrow I will be trying to win $1,000 on a radio show. That will pay for some of us.

I just want to love my sister's baby for a few days and see our family out there. That's all. I can't imagine it would rain cash or airline tickets since we can't even get real rain down here. No rain and Houston under pays their employees. We felt like we were doing better financially in Utah of all places. How can my husband have such a good job, but it still be barely enough to support us. Ridiculous. At least a mortgage payment is less than rent... Look I was positive. ha. Oh and he has a job where way too many Americans are without.

I am grateful for all that I have. I truly am. My life is how I have always wanted it to be. I just want to live in a different location. Closer to the West Coast. That's it for my bitter ramblings. We will move on to my cute kids from here on out...